The Calloused Heart – part 3 of 3: good news

Posted: May 10, 2011 in The Calloused Heart
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The Calloused Heart

Part 3 – The Good News

The good news is there is hope and there is healing for the calloused heart.

For me, one of the most simple, yet profound scriptures in the bible is found in John 16:33

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

Thinking that life is supposed to be without trials, without problems and without difficulties is not only unrealistic, but it goes against scripture.  Life is not about trying to avoid challenges, but it’s more about learning how to deal with them in a healthy manner when they do come… because they will. God also knows that there will be times when we don’t manage and handle issues in a very positive manner and we inevitably can make a bigger mess of the situation. It is for this reason that Jesus said in Matthew 11:28 – Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. His love, grace and forgiveness is always available to us when we choose to go to Him for help. When we are in need of a ‘supernatural’ touch from God – a cure for our calloused heart, He is there to partner with us to see our hearts healed.  When we decide to engage our problem;  do what we can to make positive steps in the ‘natural’, God steps in with the ‘super’ and does what we cannot do ourselves – the end result being something ‘super-naturally’ amazing!

In Luke 17, Jesus says that opportunities to be offended will come, but it’s our decision how to handle those offenses. We have to make the choice to live ‘unoffendable’… like ‘water off a duck’s back, choose our battles wisely, understand that we cannot control others and their behaviors – we can only control our own reactions to others around us. If we find that our heart is beginning to get a little ‘crusty’, move quickly to resolve the issue before our heart become fully calloused and we miss out on all that God has for us. Our own lives and the sanity of those around us depend upon it.

Here are some practical ways to gain victory over a hurtful past and overcome callousness:

  1. Talk about the hurt with someone you trust: Be honest, be yourself. It’s OK. There is powerful medicine in sharing the load. Acknowledging hurt does not make you less of a person.
  2. Don’t evaluate yourself in terms of your past: The past can hold us back (if we allow it), but it does not have the power to define us. The fact of hurt does not determine who we are today or who we can be tomorrow.
  3. Make a commitment to (always) learn and move forward: Leverage the past to launch a more positive future. Kind of like karate – the opponent’s blow used as your strength, shifting the momentum to secure a brighter future.
  4. Live in the truth of the present: Light is always stronger than darkness. Today’s joy speaks the truth about the impotence of yesterday’s pain.
  5. Work tirelessly to provide your family with a present that will never become a “hurtful past”: Use the fact of your hurt as motivation to protect your family today.
- Were you hurt by unfaithfulness? Be faithful now.
- Did you experience an abusive home? Saturate yours with love.
- Did you live in fear? Provide security to your family today.
  6. Get involved in efforts to help others heal: Reaching out to those who are hurt always involves healing for the volunteer. Be generous and loving, open your heart.
  7. Be 100% honest in your relationships: Making sure you’re always up front with your spouse opens the door for breakthroughs, both in the present and in our past. Honesty is not only preventative, but restorative too.
  8. Learn how to pray: Healthy family relationships promote healing, help us to move through hurt from the past, and serve to head off a repeat performance when it comes to pain. Prayer takes that same principle to another level, and puts us in touch with resources we simply must engage if we are to overcome hurt.
  9. Count your blessings: It’s good to unearth hurt so we can deal with it. But it’s also important that we pay attention to joy. Joy doesn’t mask pain, it actually deals with it.

Closing thought:

Sometimes, when a broken bone is knitted back together and heals, the area of the break is actually stronger than it was before the break.  The same can apply to our emotional and spiritual hurts as well. Proper healing of our hurts and pains can make us stronger than we were before. However, this doesn’t happen by magic, or by chance, but in response to A) Acknowledging the hurt – B) Allowing others to care for us – C) Believing that we are healed and stronger than before and – D) Living without that chip on our shoulder any more.

Live Blessed and Live Free!

(Excerpts taken from

  1. altonwoods says:

    This reminded me of something I believe was said by Rev.Dr..Billy Graham, that too many people are told when they choose to follow Christ that now everything will be wonderful only to run head on into some of the hardest struggles of their lives! We glorify God when we turn away from all the weapons which are formed against us in this world and keep our eyes on Him! That’s perhaps the most difficult lesson anyone can learn, to know what has real value and worth and to see everything else for what it is…

    False Evidence Appearing Real

    • brian hetzer says:

      Yes good words… is it this same reason why the Jews had a very difficult time accepting Jesus as the Messiah back when He walked the earth. They were expecting their ‘Messiah’ to come as a conquering king and take away all their physical oppression and slavery – to take away all their problems. I believe that this is also a significant reason why many unfortunately ‘leave’ the faith… failed expectations in their minds… for the reasons you stated. Blessings to you my friend!

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