Homeless, Hungry & Alone… chapter 3

Posted: January 27, 2011 in Homeless, Hungry & Alone...
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Chapter 3

(Brian’s note: originally, I was planning on consolidating my journal entries into mulit-chapters, where each chapter consists of 2-3 days worth of journaling.  However, the problem I’ve run into is that as I go back through my journaling of the fast, each day has had some very significant stuff in it; important in laying the foundation to what is coming soon in the story.  So, I greatly appreciate your patience in reading each day’s chapter in my journey and I hope you gain some understanding from it too.  I will consolidate days as I can… hang on, the adventure is just around the corner!)

Fast – Day 2

I woke up at 3am this morning.  My usual time to get up to go to the gym and head off to work (I normally have to be there at about 5:30am and I have about a 45 minute drive). Spent some time praying and listening for the voice of the Lord.  He spoke to me about the church – Richland Assembly – My Pastor – and where I stand.  My desire to do more church related ministry and my lack of available time to do it had created in me a feeling of unmet/failed expectations and frustration.  I felt as though somehow, I was failing my Pastor because I couldn’t do what he needed as quickly as I wanted too.  I ask the Lord for forgiveness for these feelings and asked God to help me to be content where he has me right now and to help me to better understand that I am where I am for a reason.  I also prayed for Richland Assembly and it’s people.  I feel so much better!

I’ve been thinking about Ron a lot lately as well and have been praying for him – for spiritual breakthrough.  Ron is the gentleman who came to church a few Sunday’s ago and was planning on committing suicide that day (unbeknownst to anyone).  But, God intervened in an amazing way and used me to ‘save’ Ron from what he was planning! I have not seen or heard from him in a couple of weeks.  I don’t have anyway of contacting him and I don’t know where he lives.  I am waiting for him to call me or come into the church.  I continue to pray for him.

As I was doing my daily bible reading this morning, these verses are what ‘jumped’ out at me:

Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. Job 6:14

Do the things that show you really have changed your hearts and lives. Matthew 6:8

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As I was praying on my way to work this morning, a thought came to me regarding how I view giving and opportunities to help others.  Most of the time, when I am presented with an opportunity to give (financially, food, clothes etc.) or have an opportunity to extend a hand physically to someone in need, the first thought that crosses my mind is usually something like “How is this going to affect me… what is it going to cost me?” I seem often to “automatically” put myself and my own needs first – oh that darn human nature!  Other’s needs seem to have to first go through the “what is it going to cost me” filter before I make a decision to give or help. Too often, my response can be hesitation or denial if I see the cost as too great or the inconvenience too much.  True love will always cost me something. If I want to truly love those around me, I need to expect to be inconvenienced and I need to expect for it to cost me.  That’s how love works.  God saw yours and my need for a savior.  His first thought was not the inconvenience and the cost that providing us with a savior would be.  His first thought was how much He loves us and He knew He held the answer to our sin problem.  It did cost the Father – His only Son… but in God’s eyes you and I were worth the sacrifice. If God can do that, what excuse do I have for not reaching out and helping those around me… regardless of the need or cost?  “If anyone sees a brother in need and has the means to meet that need but does not, how can the love of the Father be in him?” 1 John 3:17  It was a humbling thought.  I prayed, “Lord, I repent for thinking this way – putting my own needs, wants, desires ahead of others.  Please help me to recognize when I am doing this and help me to think of others before myself.”  I want to be a man who gives unconditionally – no strings attached and gives with a joyous heart and spirit.  All that I have belongs to God and it is really His to do with as He sees fit any way.  Recently, I put out a question on Facebook – “How would you define JOY?”  A friend from Yakima replied “Jesus Others You (myself)”.  What a great reminder to the order of priorities!

My wife and I spent the evening praying, reading the word and singing a few songs.  A lot of what we read and discussed centered around a question a co-worker asked me recently.  She said, “If every good thing comes from God and every bad thing comes from the devil, can a person do good things and not have Jesus in their lives? If so, how?” Good question! We read some scriptures in Matthew 7:21-24, Matthew 12:22, Ephesians 2:10 and Galations 5:24-25 (The Fruit of the Spirit)

We ate dinner – something Debra put together on the ‘fly’ with no recipe – a mixture of canned corn, black beans, rice, cans of diced tomatoes with Mexican spices, cilantro and dried lentils.  It was quite yummy.

… Chapter 4 tomorrow…

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