More Than I Could Imagine…

Posted: June 11, 2010 in Family Ties - relationships
Tags: , , , , , , ,

As I sit in the plane back to Portland from my visit to Los Angeles, I can’t help but notice a fresh wind blowing against the “sail” of my life’s purpose and passion.  It’s a stirring that strengthens the very foundations and roots in my spirit and my soul.  It’s a fire blazing a new – fed by the “billows” of a relationship that was lost, but now has been found – the reuniting of my life with my biological father.  In a previous blog post, I shared that I had never known my biological father – Ralph (Pete) Peters.  The reasons for this is really not important at this time – so much as the reality of a son, born before God Himself – to a young married couple in late August 1967.  My father wanted to name me “Paul”, but my mother “changed” his mind and named me “Brian”; which interestingly enough means “courage and strength”.  My parents were to separate before I really ever had an opportunity to know or “remember” my father.  Soon after, he would disappear from my life for the next 40 years.  “Brian, I love you and I can’t tell you how great you are.  There are greater days ahead for us.  Love Dad.” These were some of the first words I would hear from Pete, my father – more than 40 years since the last time he saw me – I was then three years old.

During our brief phone conversations, we planned on meeting while I was in Los Angeles.  I was excited and a bit nervous – even apprehensive.  After all, really, I didn’t know what to expect.  The man who “abandoned” me over 40 years ago suddenly enters my life – was it doing to be a huge letdown, drama, failed expectations or worse (whatever that could be).  I had heard “stories”, but in the midst of all of it, God brought me an incredible peace.  Even before I left Yakima, I was praying asking God to settle my emotions, give me clarity and bring something positive from all this.  He did just that.  He began showing me that there was much healing in-store for me, my mom and him… and that was just the beginning.  I had to enter the unknown with a full trust in the Lord that He has a plan and keep an open mind to receive it.  That alone began to stir excitement in my heart.  One of the things the Lord showed me right before I left was the fact that I had been struggling with ‘rejection’ issues for a very long time – stemming back from when I was a child.  I could not comprehend it then, but the circumstances surrounding him leaving and being out of my life for 40 years had planted some major seeds of rejection in me.  Even to the point that when my mom and wife would ask me if I was interested in finding him, I refused.  I see now that that was primarily because deep down inside I felt rejected by him – thus “he didn’t want me”.  However, I would soon find out that that was the farthest from the truth.  Our meeting would be a very significant milestone in removing these seeds of “rejection” from my life – bringing healing to my heart and spirit.

Meeting Pete for the first time was quite amazing to say the least.  We hit if off quickly – shared, laughed and asked each other lots of questions.  We only had about an hour together, but it was an awesome start.    I left feeling so alive and encouraged.   Those previous feelings of rejection seemed to be quickly dissipating.  The feeling was amazing.  The next day, I met with my Pete again – this time he brought his youngest son Michael (my step brother) and two cousins (Terry & Debbie) who all I had never met.  We spent almost 3 hours at Denny’s!  It was wonderful!  I could feel something shifting inside me.  I felt stronger – with great joy!

The re-uniting of my father and I has greatly solidified deep within me the God ordained importance of the father’s role.  A few key things I’ve learned:

– The role and importance of the “biological father” doesn’t go away; even if it’s been 40+ years

– Healing can come with just a few simple, sincere words of encouragement and hope

– It’s never too late to reunite with a long-lost loved one – it’s very worth it

– Allowing God to bring healing, even if initially it seems painful & uncomfortable, is important for all

– Healing is like dropping a pebble into a pond – the effect of it continues on and on

  1. Sabin says:

    Brian to say I am thrilled for you would be an understatement. Praise the Lord!

  2. Josephine(Jo) Boyd says:

    Brian, I was soooo happy to hear all went well. the healing was waiting to start for a long time and I am so happy it has now started and there is peace in your heart. I look forward to (hopefully) seeing you in Feb. I can imagine how all of you laughed and had a good time, Pete can be very very funny, he use to make me laugh all the time. I agree this family’s elevator is 1 floor from the top We always said ” you don’t have to be crazy to be in this family but it sure does help”lol

    Love you, Aunt Jo

  3. Paul W. Rider says:

    Hey Brian,
    I am really glad you were able to have this wonderful reunion. It sounds like an amazing event; a milestone of epic proportions. It will be interesting to hear how your relationship with your father develops.
    What a blessing. I am pleased for you. I remember seeing my father for the first time in many years and it certainly didn’t have the same results that you experienced. It took a lot of courage for you to face that trail and to walk it out.
    God is good and was definitely with you on this.
    Take care buddy,

  4. Kirk says:

    What an amazing story, Brian. Incredibly touching and profound, that’s for sure. It’s inspiring to see you take this step and to see that be rewarded. I pray for a long and fulfilling relationship with your father. Truly a God moment.

    • Hey Kirk – sorry it’s taken me abit to respond. We are in the middle of moving, getting our new place ready, etc. Thank you for your kind words! Yes, meeting and building a relationship with my biological father continues to be absolutely incredible. It has truly changed something inside of me – for the good! Blessings my friend. I hope and pray all is well with you and your family!

  5. Managers says:

    Signing up

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